May retribution be tamed
by Freya's Valhalla
Summary: It's time for Yuuki to stand her ground, even if it means standing against the man she still shamelessly lusts for. YxK Oneshot.


_**So this is what happens after feeding on vampire related TV shows, manga's, books and fanfiction for weeks. **_

**My small, personal glance at the recent events of the manga from Kuran Yuki's POV. Enjoy :)**

**xxXxx**

"_If the only option I had was to lose you, then I would prefer death instead. Be it yours, by my hand or… could you please kill me then Yuki?"_

It is strange, to now be the one to stare at him from the distance. Kaname proudly stands in front of me, his gaze filled with the same distress I've always painfully neglected and despite the perceptible wounds that scar his hectoring features; he does not waver at my sight. Neither do I, or at least that's what I hope for.

I can smell the scent of his blood. It writhes my flesh, drives me to the edge of despair and I lust. Lust for this being who has masterfully weaved the threads of my fate, regardless of the consequences of his selfishness – which have lead us to where we now stand. My brother, my lover. I still feel myself flush at the thought of the undeniable contradiction he has casted upon us and I wonder if this outcome might be some kind of punishment to atone for our sins.

Kaname remains still, although I can discern the slightest shift of his gaze as he sets his eyes on the hooded woman who drifts beside him. The chaos nesting in the core of my doubts swells. She is precious to him, precious in a way I fear I will never be, even with the abyss of death laying between them. How shall I fight a memory, a promise sealed to a ghost? I clutch Artemis, molding my grip into the sword's heavy form. Its sharp edge scratches the shattered stone beneath my feet.

The woman reaches for Kaname, her flaring hand caressing the softness of the skin I've come to know so well. I wish it was me. I also want to let my fingers roam down his cheek, want to press my lips against the embodiment of my madness, sink my baby fangs into his neck and drink from his eternity. I hear them whisper to each other, her voice is soothing and graced with the strain of grief, while his sounds as deep and intimate as it's always been – when addressing me. I cannot distinguish their words nor debunk their intentions, but somehow it seems, it feels, like it's a farewell.

I'm aware of Zero's intense glance upon me. Unfortunately, I don't have the spirit to look at him at the moment. My attention is solely entwined with the two presences before us. They fall into silence. I glimpse a faint flinch on her face and she slowly retreats her hand, absently brushing her fingers against his lips. Kaname remains undisturbed and right then I'd sell my very same sword to get the chance to peer into his eyes and witness the whirlpool of emotions he must be drowning in.

I desperately need to know that he feels something – anything. It seems like a lifetime has elapsed since the last time he tenderly embraced me, pressed our foreheads together and indulged me with sweet confessions. There's a tiny corner in my mind that tells me that everything will go back to how it was before. Then I recall his despicable deeds, his bloody vow, the memories of thousands of years he burdens and the way he so easily disposed of me - turned me into his enemy - and I understand that I must overcome my laxity, because this dementia has to reach an end.

It is a rare event for a Pureblood to be born with the ability to wield a hunter's weapon and I find myself wondering if this is, if not more, a twisted prank adjudged by an unmerciful ancestor of ours to feast in our brotherly lethal dispute. My thoughts are disrupted by the shattering of the woman's figure and the consequent decay of the Central Headquarters of the Hunter's Association building. My daze has flustered my consciousness, but Kaname still seems to be the one and only thing my mind can withhold. I cannot repress the urge to hold him, even if it means I should deliver the fatal blow at once, though I'm aware of my inability to do such thing yet. So I do the only thing my body allows me to do for now. I run. I confess that the foolishness that dwells in my soul still sings to me that Kaname may react to my approach; that he might once more press me against his chest as he's done so many times before and seize me to fulfill our meant to be path.

He does not. Instead, he vanishes in the form of his animal embodiment and leaves me to fall on my knees, trying to hold onto whatever trace of dignity left within me. I am indeed foolish. I hear footsteps behind me and I become certain that they belong to Zero once he firmly pats my head. I don't wish for his pity, for it's the only sentiment I consider fit for him to bear towards me, even if I quietly hope he has not interpreted my sudden rapture as a sign of weakness.

Neither of us dares to break the smothery silence. Improper of me, I find no words to gush up my throat and the fact that he does not debrief me regarding my resolve is somehow comforting. I realize that despite our immutable differences - which have haunted us for quite some time now - when it narrows down to moral judgment, Zero does not doubt me. I'm thankful he can't pry inside my mind, for I can clearly smell the nature of his rich blood, hurriedly throbbing through his veins and it arouses me, makes me thrive in desire. I know it is because Kaname's singular scent is still creeping inside of him, yet I cannot help feeling guilty for having to fight back the need to jump at his neck.

I turn around and reach for Artemis, which I've unconsciously left behind before stumbling in shame. She seems to be the only weapon that our ancestor has left behind. As I grip her, once again free from the painful burn that vampires should normally suffer; I become even more aware of my liability. Thus I leave, and Zero follows. If only he knew that the one who wants to watch me succeed the most is I.

I mentally repeat Kaname's perturbing words over and over, arranging them as my personal mantra. Kaname may have been the one guarding secrets, but I was the one who did not listen closely to what he had to say. Or did I not _want _to?

"_If the only option I had was to lose you, then I would prefer death instead. Be it yours, by my hand or… could you please kill me then Yuki?"_

So be it.

My brother, my lover. My undying living death.

**xxXxx**

* * *

**This oneshot actually rose in my mind right after I read chapter 85. I haven't kept up with VK for months. I just happened to read the latest chapters yesterday and it triggered something in me that begged me to write this.**

**I'm eager to know what will the author surprise us with next. Meanwhile, let's rejoice in Fanfiction. Please review, my dear readers :3**


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